kindess of strangers

On our way home from the 2nd trip to Tucson to both mourn and celebrate the life of our loving matriarch, I came across what felt to be a shield of collective protection by several strangers on our flights. Strangers whom, many of them, went out of their way to be sure that Monkey and I arrived home safely amidst flight delays and cancellations. I was moved to tears many times and as I have mentioned here before, it takes a lot for that to happen.

After several hours of sitting on a tarmac while waiting out a thunderstorm before the plane could take off, the woman sitting next to Monkey and I slowly shared bits and pieces of her story as she playfully smiled and humored Monkey. With this being my first flight with Monkey on my own, I can safely say that I don’t know how I could have handled the situation as well had it been any other person in that seat. As it turned out, this lovely woman was on her way to be with her son as he awaited an organ transplant. Feeling at all frustrated by travel delays quickly became a distant memory to me the more I listened.

Later, while waiting standby after missed connections – she to Denver, me to Portland – we sat in a cafe and talked more. I was so moved by this woman and all that she has done to raise awareness about Cystic Fibrosis and to be a strong and loving mother to her children despite the many struggles she and her family had seen.

She had recently turned to music as her outlet. I listened to some of the songs she had written. They were beautiful. Just as she was. I have thought of she and her son since that time and wondered how they are doing. Whether or not he got his transplant and if it took? I only got her first name and too much time has passed for me to remember the name of the foundation in Mexico she started up (it was in Spanish and I have a terrible name memory as it is). I keep hoping I will remember.

After saying goodbye the way strangers do when they know they were somehow fated to meet, with a look of gratitude in our eyes, I set off to find our standby gate.

Upon arrival to the gate, I quickly realized that the chances of Monkey and I getting on the flight were slim to none. We were sixth on the list and the flight was already fully booked. I called Josh to let him know that I would start looking for a hotel and nearby store to pick up more provisions. A man nearby came up to me after I got off the phone. He had overheard my conversation. His daughter-in-law had been stuck in an airport for two days with her twin boys when they were Monkey’s age and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I couldn’t even imagine! As I learned that day, there are several things that had never crossed my mind that pose a problem when running into any travel woes:

1) I didn’t have a car seat. It had already been routed for Portland. So even if I had gotten a hotel, I’d need to figure out a cab or service that could provide a car seat to get us to the hotel and back to the airport.

2) I had only packed enough baby food, diapers and wipes to get us home that evening (I was trying to go compact for ease of carrying Monkey around). The rest was packed in my checked bag. Mistake. I will always have at least a few days worth of these items in my carry-on. Although Monkey is eating food other than the purees now so it would not be as much of an issue.

He asked if there was anything he could get for us. I smiled and thanked him but said I would just see how this flight went and then figure it out afterward. It was touching that a stranger thought to care. Then, I proceeded to follow a fast crawling Monkey around the waiting area while he spent some of his 9-month-old energy.

As the last call for passengers took place on the intercom, I had already come to resolve that we would be finding a hotel for the night and trying it all again the next day. Then, I heard a woman’s voice, “Miss? Miss?”

I looked up to a mother with her three-year-old son standing next to her and a baby girl in a stroller who was close to Monkey’s age.

“Do you need anything? Do you need food? Do you need diapers?”

At a quick glance, I saw the man behind her and knew he had stopped her as she was boarding to let her know my situation. My eyes welled up a bit. She handed over a stack of diapers, several jars of food and a new bag of wipes. I couldn’t stop thanking her and the gentleman who had extended their kindness. I may have had a night of obstacles ahead of me, but I was feeling recharged now knowing I had gotten the support and reminders from all of these people that there is a lot of good amongst the more difficult moments too.

I started to pack up our items and got things together to head to the customer service desk to make a plan when I heard my name over the intercom. A group of people in the lobby started cheering. I was so confused. They called it once more. More cheering. I walked up to the counter and the flight attendant told me I was all clear to board.

“But, all these other people are still waiting on standby ahead of me.”

As I said those words, I glanced back at the others I knew were on standby in front of me. They all had big sympathetic smiles on their faces. One of whom was that selfless man who had already been so helpful. He had talked everyone into bumping me up the list in case there was only one seat available.

Okay, that was it, I lost it. Crying, smiling and waving at all of those kind faces, I was hurried down the runway to board the plane.

After sitting down, I looked at Monkey, kissed him on his head and told him that his great nana with with us today.

Goodbye Our Loving Matriarch

Dorothy May Pearce, known to me as Banka Dottie or Nana

August 3, 1925 – July 3, 2012

Our Loving Matriarch,

We will do our best to be strong and hold together as a family without you.

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 Thank you for teaching me

to laugh during difficulty,

the importance of an education and good manners,

to appreciate the arts in its various forms,

and for goodness sake….to enjoy life!

Our memories of you will rest comfortably in our hearts.

A Buggy Adventure

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Camping and being out in the wild woods is something I love and like most people out there, don’t get to do enough. I promised myself that we would take the Little Monkey to the woods this summer. Though we cheated a little by reserving a rustic cabin at Olallie Lake Resort, I’m glad we did because it protected us from the drones of Mosquitos that were out. Our little cabin worked out to be the perfect trial scenario for how real camping or…gasp…even backpacking might go in the future.

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What was supposed to be a two night trip to Olallie Lake turned out to be a one nighter due to how buggy it was. I’ve gone there several times before and never had quite this problem but apparently I was there in August or September when the Mosquitos are not as bad.

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The owners of Olallie Lake Resort had given The Monkey this handy little net hat which proved to be very useful on the hike. Josh and I didn’t get bit as much as we had expected to but we were also doused with Citronella oil. Despite the bugs, we still managed to get a good little hike in around Monon Lake, which we discovered is still a snowed in and flooded during one leg of the trail. I didn’t mind though…it was fun to put my Chacos to good use and skip through the creeks and shore.

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As usual, The Little Monkey was a trooper…or in this case, a happy camper. It was all a good experience but we decided to head home a day early to perhaps head out on a less buggy adventure.

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Men’s Day

In Germany, the Father’s Day tradition (or Men’s Day in Germany) is to fill wagons with wine, beer, and foods and pull them by manpower on a hike. For Josh’s first Father’s Day, Uncle Sterling helped Little Monkey and I to surprise Josh with this great All-Terrain Wagon by Radio Flyer filled with provisions. I think it was a hit.

After stocking the Man Cave with the goods from the wagon, we headed over to Pop Pops to welcome he and Sandy back after this year’s sailing adventures and to have a larger Fathers Day celebration. It’s so nice to have my dad close by and to get to know Little Monkey better now that he is a bit older.

Though we didn’t go on a hike, it was a great way to spend Men’s Day.

 

 

Appreciating Every Moment. A Visit to the Southwest.

We have returned from our travels to Arizona.

This was an epic and bittersweet journey in more ways than one, and perhaps too complicated for me to get into here and now.

As you can see below, our Little Monkey is well on his way to walking now that he is practicing his standing and balancing poses. He sure is proud of himself when he holds himself in what we call his “surfer pose.” That’s where he holds onto a piece of furniture or one of us and slowly lets go, one hand at a time, stretching his arms in front and behind himself like a surfer as he simultaneously dons a explorative grin until he eventually collapses and explodes with laughter. Our hearts continue to melt every day as we witness these small, yet tremendous milestones.

We first flew into Phoenix, on an Alaska Airlines Portland Timbers plane no less, which we thought brought good luck for Little Monkey’s first time traveling by air.

It went off without a hitch and he was an absolute angel of a traveler – falling asleep during take-off each time and laughing through the landing. It was beyond my wildest dreams for how I had hoped the flights might go and can only hope it sticks! I was prepared for the worst, but truly ended up with the best of all possible scenarios. I was actually the one crying on the flight home after catching a cold during our trip and dealing with the pain of congestion.

In the scorching heat of the Phoenix daylight, we went to the Desert Botanical Gardens where we had hoped to see the Dale Chihuly glass sculpture exhibit. However, shortly after walking the grounds we realized it was no longer on display in the garden and has been gone since 2009.  We were only late by about three years! I guess I thought it was a permanent feature.

It was still beautiful walking through the garden, but far too hot for Little Monkey so we ended our stay abruptly and headed to the comfort of nearby air conditioning.

That night, my longtime friend, Tina, and her husband Chris hosted a reunion of sorts for us to visit with some of my high school buddies and have the chance to meet their families. So many of the children looked so much like their parents.

Tina is such a good hostess — thank you so much for your hospitality T!

Our next stop was north to the Flagstaff area, where we held an intimate ceremony to say goodbye to my grandmother, Lil’ Banka, who passed away last year.  We stayed at her cabin in Munds Park where I grew up going every summer of my childhood and well into my first years of college. It brought back so many memories of lazy days spent in the tracksuit-style pajamas she would buy for my cousins and I each summer; playing Rummy Cube and Uno every evening; laying in the dewy grass of the golf course to watch the fireworks shoot right over our heads on the 4th of July; fishing in the lake nearby; riding bikes and walking through the neighboring streets; and sitting on the back porch for dinner every night where we would usually eat an iceberg lettuce salad, cantaloupe, some kind of dinner, followed by Vanilla Wafer Pudding for desert.

The place still smelled just as it did during my childhood visits, which made me miss Lil’ Banka dearly. It was just so strange to be there without her by our sides as we sat together in the living room at night as we used to do with a bowl of popcorn in hand while watching Wheel of Fortune.

All the while, my mind was also on my grandmother in Tucson, Banka Dottie, whom on the day of our arrival had been taken to the hospital with breathing issues and subsequently diagnosed with terminal cancer. Every update I’d receive on her condition would be worse than the one before it and all I wanted to do was hop in the car to go and see her to give her a great big comfort hug. But alas, I was told to wait for a visit until later in the week.

The purpose of this trip down was to say goodbye to one grandmother and visit with the other. Not to say goodbye to both.

I am not ready yet to let go of another important person to me who has influenced my passion for all things arts and culture related and taught me to be sure and appreciate some of the finer things in life and to be sure and celebrate every day.

Nearby in Flagstaff, we saw our friends Jodi and Guy and their two sweet little kids. Josh got a nice hike in with Guy, which they dubbed something along the lines of “the men only hike.” So, Jodi and I stayed in town and caught up with one another between nap and feeding schedules. It seemed that once one babe would go down, the other would wake up so there wasn’t the focused visits of the past, but this is the reality with little ones!

(Not to worry, I got my spa day later).

Our next stop was in Tucson, where we had limited visits with friends and family. But when we finally did see everyone again, it sure was wonderful!

And the most important visit of all – with Banka Dottie….

…meeting Little Monkey for the very first time.

On the Move

Every May, Josh leaves for his annual fly-fishing trip on the Deschutes River with his step-dad (otherwise known here as Cool Dude).  This year, my brother was also in tow.

After many years joining Cool Dude and friends on the water, Josh decided he has become serious enough about the past time to start collecting his own gear. So for Christmas, I splurged and gifted him a pair of Simms waders, and his parents gave him a matching vest and some starter flies in a tackle box.

Take a look at his past trips here and here.

Meanwhile, back home Gigi and I spent some quality time with the Little Monkey who was on the verge of crawling every day his Papa was away…

It was as though he was waiting for his papa to see the exciting new leap in person, because today, at 8 months and a day, our Little Monkey is on the move!!!

Wherever you go…there you are

Tonight, I was having a conversation with a friend about the fight or flight reflex we have as humans when we are up against difficult scenarios or overwhelming sense of emotions. I mentioned that when I was younger, anytime something felt out of my control, I’d start planning to move abroad in hopes to get as far away from that strong sense of anxiety, sadness, or stagnancy.  I shared with a friend my plans to flee when he said to me,

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

It stopped me in my tracks.

He was right.

I could go to New Zealand or Spain or Brazil, but no matter the destination, my feelings would be right there with me…..to deal with once the temporary distraction subsided. No matter how long I put them off or mask them, my problems would be right there waiting for me.

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

I have learned that every little thing I go through sticks around until I take the time and energy to understand how and why it affected me — no matter how difficult it was to face.

If there is one thing we can promise ourselves to stay true and honest in this life, it is that we own our emotions and our reactions to our greatest battles so that we can begin to understand ourselves that much more and to move to our next lesson or life experience.

As far as we know….or as far as has been scientifically proven, we only have one go at this life, so we might as well make it worth while by delving deeper into the abyss and by growing with every hurdle.

Phase I and II

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Nathan Bernert of Beautifilia came to plant the conifers last Friday and started the initial layout for the new low-maintenance, Japanese style garden. Then, today he was back with the maples and some of the shrubs.

The rest of the plants are on order but I thought I’d share progress!

He is so talented and has such an eye for design!

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The second phase entailed planting the conifers.

The first phase was the new grass and digging up the old grass for the new beds.

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Every suggestion Nathan has made for design and plant selection has been right in line with what we were dreaming of!

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Today, the maples arrived! I’m so happy with the splashes of color!

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This little guy happily played for about 20 minutes in the shade while this mama was able to get her hands dirty in the garden for the first time in over a year. It felt so wonderful! I’ve missed the soil under my nails!

Nathan lives on a rock quarry and brought over some boulders straight from his own place…

…then picked up some river rock for the dry rock bed at Mt. Scott Fuel Co.

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Then began to spread the river rock for the dry beds…

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…and moved some grasses from the front yard to work some blue into the scenery…

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It’s really coming together!

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More next week!

A new garden

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I love spring! I love the vibrant colors of the new leaves on all of the trees and that feeling of renewal. Ever since I came to Oregon from Arizona, I have so enjoyed the definitive changes that come with each season.

With the arrival of spring around our house, there is often talk of new projects for the garden but for the past few years we’ve been focusing our energy elsewhere. Until now!

A few weekends ago we had all of our uneven grass removed and new sod laid, while also greatly reducing the amount of lawn in the yard to make way for new plantings as a barrier to the busy street behind us.

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Then, last week we met with Nathan Bernert of Beautifolia – www.beautifolia.com – and we are so excited to be able to have him help us with a great design and plant selections for our new garden space! The passion behind his work makes it clear that he is in the right field. He has guided us with such an ease through the plant selection and design process!

We can’t wait to share the progress in the weeks to come.

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Spring is Here Again!

There is so much to catch up with on here! It has been a busy few weeks. I used to feel guilty when I’d go even a week without posting, but between my days with the little monkey and work, my spare time is usually spent trying to catch up on sleep or chores.

Every year, we have a little Easter gathering, which used to be so much more adult focused (with a beer hunt in the mix), but I have to say that there was a very clear shift this year with only a few people decorating beers and a whole lot more eggs and items for the kid hunt and more people focusing on baking and preparing really beautiful foods for the brunch spread.

My brother and Nancy did a really fine job at decorating though and I have to give them props on here so their beer decor can live on!

Yes, this is indeed a Mr. T beer!

One of several garden gnome beers they made!

And, the adult hunt was still a hit, but, you can’t beat this kind of cuteness:

This was the Little Monkey’s first Easter, so we dressed him in dapper spring colors!

The Little Monkey loves his uncle Ster!

It was such a great day and the weather cooperated too! I don’t recall the last Easter when we were able to do this:

Showing off my dirty feet...

Spring is here and all we can think about is gardening, hiking, bike riding, fishing, strolling, lounging…on that note, I am off to enjoy more of this sunny day we are having!